The only value that is found in you is the value you can provide externally. You will be used and/or abused as a house family puppet if you don’t realize that your only solution will be to leave them behind. However, the way it’s set up you have to be there for family but they will hate you and blame you and act like it’s your fault. With a lot of avatars they got put into their family situation very early in childhood ; they key is to remember the love and use that as a foundation for your ambition while know the truth that they both want to use/abuse you and will frame it to make it seem that you hate them (truth is that they hate you because they left and just as with Naruto and the evil demon nine tails if you come back you’re stuck and you have to get better in that environment so this goes back to the relationship between Sasuke and Naruto both same and opposite. The only solution is finding the right family.
If I as an avatar want to be truly loved and respected I have to go through trial and tribulations beyond the normal order and come back a hero : I should aware of the snakes when back in the motherland.
There’s too many factors but I think that love from a distance and returning a hero is the essential key for taking ownership of high ego low self esteem narcissistic and paranoid way of living. (It boggles me). On the opposite side staying content as the family pet is an option that should not be taken.